Monday, 18 March 2013

the what if ...?

ok so you may or may not have read my last blogs, but for those of you that have you would no that I'm trying to move on with my life from a bad relationship.

easier said than done....

the leaving him part and ignoring texts and phone calls bit seems a dodle. it's the part where I see him turn up outside my front door that's the toughy.

I look at him and just feel empty.kinda feel sorry for him.pity him.
I'm not a rude person and I don't want to cause an argument so will be nice up to a certain point until he don't take the hint or he thinks it's all one big joke.

well same goes for tonight. He turned up at my door, Let him come in to chat for 5 minutes, even gave him spare food i had cooked.( ok maybe shouldn't have done this, but I'm just a generally nice person )

needless to say he kept stalling to go, in the end I asked him to leave and it got a bit nasty. No violence but aggressiveness and mood and nasty language towards me.

once out my house, I got a few nasty messages from him. Pretty angry talk ones.the guy needs to get over himself.
he even tried to hint that the girl he used to live with is pregnant.(he knows this would cut me deep). however, as much as that got me mad, It also got me thinking about me!

when was my last cycle ??SHIT!!!!

Checked my diary (yes I keep a log of it as used to be irregular before I had my son).
last time was 8th January.

I'm starting to panic now! this can't be happening!!! I just want to cry!

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